Thanks guys and dolls for making it a great evening at the Cotton Club last Friday. I have some incriminating photos of some of you. So the fuzz can't find them easily I have hidden them here.

Signing off,
Owney Madden
and my assistants Little Bobby, Slightly Charred & Vera Finn xxx

The Best Joint in Town

It’s almost time guys and dolls to come to my club and kick up your heels.

The fuzz is going to be out in force so make sure you leave your wheels at home if you want to have some of my finest hooch. Speaking of hooch, I work hard to get the good stuff across state borders so if you want anything stronger than wine, beer or a strawberry daiquiri you will need to pay the waiter. If anyone catches you with it, we aint never met -ok?

I just got word that two fugitives are on the run from the fuzz. Everyone knows I run a little hot but I’m not sure I want the likes of these gents at my club. They look pretty smug but so would I if I just stuck up a bank for a million clams. So be on the lookout for these guys. They are extremely dangerous. They go by the names of "Dutchie" and "The Pom".

Now most of the dudes that visit the club are real wiseguys. So make sure you have a wiseguy name for the evening by looking here. Gals to get your lovely dame name go here.

Oh and don't forget the password. No password, no entry.

See you there!

Cotton Club Update

My main heat man Mickey the Greaser has been giving me updates about who is coming to my juice joint.

Mickey is very disappointed with all the lollygaggers taking their time. If I make you an offer to come to my club then don't disrespect me by not showing up. I don't carry a tommy gun for decoration ya know.

Make sure you RSVP here and type "YES" in the subject line if you are coming and "PARTY POOPER" if you aint.

My joint is a classy one. If you expect to turn up in your regular street rags and get in then you will be kissing the pavement. If you don't know how to dress sharp look at this page and see what the guys and gals wear in my club. Gals put on your best flapper outfit and guys can look sharp like me in a pin stripe zoot suit, fedora hat and spats. Dress to impress in this world and you'll go a long way. Besides, if the cops see you in your dancing shoes, they won't think you're drinking will they?

Now I am writing this in secret. I don't want it to fall into the hands of the fuzz who are on my tail. The club has finally set up in a location only known to a few people. To get the address you will need to highlight in the space below. If you aint so sharp to work this out then ask a mate who is.

Mandalay House

72 Burns Bay Road

Lane Cove

You can't get in without the password but I aint making it easy for you. If you want the password you need to go here. Who is the gent with his son at a baseball game? THAT'S the password. Now don't forget it.

Ella

Here's Ella Fitzgerald making me misty. It's like she's singing it for me.

Prohibition Dames

I don't know about you folks but seeing those mugs would make any man turn to liquor.

You're Invited

So here's the rub.

The Cotton Club is a swinging joint see. Its the most swinging joint you've ever been to and if it wasn't for those do gooder Prohibitioners, you'd have already been to visit. So we've decided to make it easy for you. The Cotton Club is coming to you in Lane Cove.

On 11th December, at 7.30pm, all you Guys and Dames can come along to the speakeasy. Just wink at the door and say the password. You don't know the password? Well watch this rag because it's going to be on here soon. The editor owes me, so he's promised he will publish the password, or I will be making him some shoes that allow him to swim with the fishes if you know what I mean.

I'll let you know where it's going to be soon. You can bring your wheels, but remember the Bulls are doing those Random Breath Tests, like they don’t take a snifter themselves sometimes! Personally I would recommend you leave the ride at home and get someone else to be your wheelman.

So you guys, bring your best Spats and you Gals should wear your best rags. The Dude and the Dame with the best smarts will win a prize and you can be sure it won’t be prohibition friendly, let me tell you!

Here's the technical mumbo-jumbo.

• If you think you're coming, type "YES" in the subject line of the reply email (click on reply).
• If you want to be a square and not come, type "PARTY POOPER" in the subject line of the reply email.

Let us know by 13th November, or I'll be sending the heat around to check up on you.

Now remember, its a dangerous world out there in the Whisky free zone, so you need to leave your partners safely at home.

Flappers

I like the new breed of gals around these days. They are called Flappers. They wear short skirts with bobbed hair. They listen to the best music of all - Jazz. They like to doll up and wear lots of makeup with dark red lipstick. They like to drink, smoke and drive automobiles.

I love the gals glad rags.  They are the cats meow.

They wear their long stringy pearls and head bands with feathers.

Their stockings are fishnets and they carry a long cigarrette holder.

Then of course there is the most famous flapper of all. Miss Louise Brooks. Aint she a picture?

The Charleston

If you come to the club you must learn the dance of the moment. Everyone is doing it.

The Charleston!

In case you are a square who has never seen it, take a look below to get some help.

Hey Mr Zoot Suit

There are some cool cats that come to the club. They wear their pin strip zoot suits. Some squares don't like them much. Why don't you be the judge. Aren't they lookin' sharp?

Minnie the Moocher

This is my buddy Cab doin' what he does best.

Sassy Lady

Two weeks ago a very sassy dame came in to see me at the club. You may recognise her. She's always gettin' into a bit of trouble. She was sentenced to ten days prison for "corrupting the moral of youth". I think it has something to do with her bawdy comments. I don't see much wrong with 'em.

Tell me what you think:

• "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
• "It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men."
• "I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them."
• "I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."
• "I've been in more laps than a napkin."
• "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."
• "Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired."
• "When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better."  

Do you know who it is?